spiritual language poetry & writings

a mamaist process



…Er… Well… More or less.

The goddess says, “Yes.”
She does?  …She DOES?

I’m… I’m… speechless!


Stop being so anxious.
But… geez… Us?

Facing the dreaded darkness?

And loneliness?

And possible madness?

But… I’m… I’m such a mess.

And…and… I’m useless…

You’ll stay that way unless…

Unless you can bring the “mess” into some kind of focus.
But what’s another human being, more or less?

Wakefulness–you cannot settle for less. What you are at your core is priceless. What mystery isn’t fathomless? You must make friends with darkness.
Yes… but… who exactly is this?

I am your inner, bottomless-hell guide, your soul-mate, your desire, your beautiful Venus!! 
Are… Are you serious?

What did you think this was,  hocus-pocus?
Well, er…yes.

Then re-focus! Think like a genius!
Oh God! What am I doing? …Falling into an abyss?

You are entering the boundless shadows, to which you’ve always had access. Now speak and bear witness.
But this really is none of my business!

It is nothing if not your business! Our lives when read by the light in the depths of night appear differently to us. You are here to discover your place in the universe.
Er… Is it too late to run away and join the circus?


You’re being facetious!
But this is craziness! How am I to make heads or tails out of this?

Ignore the hour-glass… Use me as your mirror of the timeless.
But this excess–it’s monstrous!

This open dimension of being, it is emptiness.
But is this not a sickness?

Love is like a sickness.
But this way lies madness!

Then you must love your madness.
But the signs, they are ominous.

But… But I thought I knew who I was.

You’re smitten, you’re in love with your own inwardness. But the world-at-large means business, is forcing you to see your one-sidedness. Your goal is to lift up into consciousness, beyond self-conscious. Just maintain mindfulness. Engage with whatever is, with simple presence and open awareness.
So… Er… What about ‘Odysseus’?

There are many rivers to cross. Your doubt bars further progress. Conscious awareness, or else…
Or else?

Continuing blindness, or worse…
But whoever’d want to go through this chaos?

One who would struggle through into higher wakefulness, and discover their authentic beingness.
You mean, a pilgrim’s progress?

Of sorts, yes.
Er… Any chance of success?

Odysseus! You’re not in Kansas! What’s needed is suffering, not success. View yourself as a work-in-progress requiring unconditional openness: anything short of that is shortsightedness.  Our teamwork is in oneness.  Let your glimpses at the edge of awareness be your compass.
So the situation, indeed, is serious? How does one get through this?

Stay in focus. The secret is this form that’s articulating itself through you, under duress–strained from countless grapes and squeezed in the press. Bring forth this form: it is in readiness. Let it play out in the field of full awareness.
Feeling one’s way like this… This is risky business.

How much O dare not guess! But fear is contagious. Here on the road of excess all knowledge proceeds by likeness; and your nemesis, which is the unrelenting sameness, is not  
easy to dismiss. It can lead to paralysis, or worse. This and much more is the power of darkness.
You mean this fine mess?

Yes…nothing is obvious. As you penetrate the darkness within the darkness, keep in consciousness. You will wonder exceedingly at the strangeness, but what is loved will reveal its loveliness.
Does taking this path …er… assure one of greatness?

You’ve a  ways to go yet, Dennis.

Dennis the Menace! Now put your eyeballs back in your head! If you want to be called your highness, you’ll have to not mind appearing more than faintly ridiculous. Now take a step back: for there’s yet so much about which you’re clueless.
But I…I feel so helpless.

Remember–you’re learning how far to go in courting the darkness. Change starts when you 
are most powerless. Your metamorphosis will come in this chrysalis, under cover of darkness,
here where the riches are copious.
You mean, there’s…er…tremendous richness in the gnosis?

A very intriguing thesis, Dr. Pretorious!
Er…it is?

So you would act in the name of progress?
Why, of course, yes.

And as a man of Science,  you would use your finesse a mental prowess?
Indeed, yes!

Then, Doctor, admit it!! It’s the power of nature you’ve wanted to harness!
…It is?

And your hunger’s been ravenous!
…It has?

It’s absorbed you like a game of chess! 
Well… er… I guess.

Then go right ahead! You don’t need me!  Build your unholy monument to worldliness!
Wait, please! Something’s amiss! In the game of life, doesn’t everyone try to make his bid for happiness?

You’ve come here expecting to fulfill your wishes? To reap the rewards of the virtuous? To ratify notions of your own happiness?
So my arguments, then, are they useless?

That, in a sense, would be progress. For now, forego analysis. It’s bogus. Simply know this–without love, no happiness.
But the paths through this wilderness are tortuous! I feel I’m swinging between the poles of paralysis and something like being spontaneous…

It’s all part of the process.
Yes, but where’s the happiness?

It’s all already yours! The world’s largess, as Bacchus can attest, is forever sowing seeds of happiness, on a moment to moment basis.
I’ve been… er… oblivious?

Let’s say that it takes being magnanimous to embrace what in you is both monogamous and polygamous. Consider it everyday eros. But while it’s true that all things have an underlying likeness, each thing must be celebrated for its uniqueness.
This is all Greek to me, alas.

This path is the path of wholeness. You must walk it with keen awareness.
But why must I carry this heavy cross?

ODYSSEUS! Nothing happens without love’s fullness and emptiness. Let your willingness to bear witness serve  relatedness.
But what of other people’s scorn and bitterness?

Why seek redress? Nobody, thank goodness, is blameless. It is for you to practice forgiveness.
You mean, “Turn the other cheek?”  That is… so you mean… I mean… Geez! …Us?

Or the nearest earthly likeness. 
But that’s sacriligeous!

Is this, then, what it means to be ‘selfless’?

As long as you keep running into other people’s unconscious, it is. …Are you incredulous?
No. Just filled with sadness.  My case seems hopeless. To carry on is pointless…

Er… Us?

Who else? Remember–this is an ongoing, formative process.
But goodness! What will it take to pull me out of this morass?

You mean, what will it take for you to see the obvious?
I’m at a loss. There’s so much darkness…

You would discuss the true meaning of success?
Why, if possible, yes…

It is to let the ego of fear lose its power to oppress. You must not give up, no matter how hopeless. Let nature take its course.
Still, I need to know: Will my efforts to redeem myself meet with success?

Amid the ongoing mess of your “me-ness,” keep polishing your awareness, …and you will find your success.
And the pain… it will pass?

The world may seem to spiral towards more chaos, not less. The point is, stay open for business.

The struggle to be remade out of this pregnant emptiness will seem endless, for the way’s circuitous.  But be not afraid of your aloneness, your uniqueness, your “I am” ness. It’s the cost of doing business.
But it’s so heavy, this cross…

This is the Light, only it seems to be darkness.
It’s no use! I can’t keep doing this!

Let your heart sink into the abyss. Stay each moment in awareness. Do it with wholeheartedness and childlikeness.
But… in this surrounding darkness… so much ugliness…

As you spiral into rankness, stifling foulness, be fearless… Go ahead–now peer into the heart of your darkness… Do you see the 10,000 corpses with your likeness?
Dear God! Yes!

Do not look away. Seeing into suffering is the deepest abyss. Through this you find your humanness.
But the pain,… it’s relentless!

You must give assent and say yes, in utter nakedness.
But I …I… can’t take… any more… of this! Words …cannot even begin …to express…

You would wish some relief from your distress? Let the pain take you in. It should hit you right in the solar plexus.
Oh! …Sweet Jesus!

Now don’t stop here! Do you see how life and death are synonymous?
Yes! Yes!

Sing, O sing your heart out, Orpheus! Grieve and mourn your losses.
…Oh, yes!

The mystery is enormous –everything comes back to this. This is energy you have tried to suppress.
…Oh, yes!

Let the fog dissipate! Let the world come into focus! Show things in their relatedness… how death, too, is tenderness…how in one’s divine nakedness is a spirit glorious!
…Oh, yes!

Outward and upward you must press. Fight your way out of this darkness….You can do this. It’s time to let go of your distress.
Yes! …Oh, yes!

Do you feel the body as luminous.?
Yes! …Oh, yes!

…how its meant for everlasting bliss?
Yes! …Oh, yes!

…how the effect is instantaneous?
Oh, yes! Oh, yes! Oh, yes! Oh, yes! Ooooooh…

…Er… Yes?

Again eating lotus?
But…crazy with happiness, how can I do anything less?

The phallus is no mental apparatus–on matters of sexual congress, consult Eros…  Now come into consciousness. Surpass your genius! Be the ‘hundredth monkey’!
…’Hundredth monkey’?…

Chalk it up to your changing status, for no god is yours to possess! …Now on this wind lifting you, let go, Pegasus! Let your suffering be the wisdom you put on and wear like a crown of gladness.
You mean, it’s all been as if it were thus?

What else?… Now renew, renew in the bath of forgetfulness. Lest the end be ashes…
Oh, at last! …It is done! …Thank Jesus!

Not yet it isn’t, POET!
…Huh? Wh– What?

Don’t try to second guess. Say “yes.”

Well done, Judas!
Me? …But …er… yes?

Now say what it is you have to confess!
I…I…have only love to confess. I am one man, nothing more, nothing less.

And what do you know of bliss?
Just this: that life is precious. That each moment, being unique and unrepeatable, is momentous. That what happens next is anybody’s guess.

The necessary miracle, it has come to pass! –Surprised at making it back to the right address?
Why…er… yes!

Now let your heart be filled with gladness! To found your life on the fathomless abyss is to know the nourishing presence of emptiness. But know this: at the heart of darkness, it’s all unfinished business. For the aim of love is to love more… Are you prepared to live like this?
I …guess.

With death always staring you in the face?
Er… It is?

Lazarus,wake up! I said wake up! It’s time! The hour is upon us. Open your eyes! You are in vibrant process! Ahead the horizon lies in infinite egress…
Then it’s true–the quest is endless?

You cannot even begin to guess.
Will it always be like this?

Whenever possible, yes.
And the future, will it bring happiness?

Orient yourself by this compass, and all things you need will come to pass. Let your faith and confidence be infectious. Give the best you posses, but don’t profess. Discover the value of effortlessness. And remember…
Er… yes?

The more you give, the greater the surplus. For though it be in despised dress, this pearl is precious… Now be about your business. Grow into wholeness. Carry on from the sublime to the ridiculous.
…And Poet?

Don’t forget to bless.